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When Values Decide

Writer's picture: Dana SprouleDana Sproule

On Friday afternoon, I saved a man’s life. 


Here’s what happened:


The drive to my son’s school takes us right through the downtown core. We don’t have to go that way. There’s a larger, faster road that makes a big loop around and skips “that” street. But I never take it. 


It’s important to me that we see the reality of the city we live in. Not just the trendy coffee shops. But piles of sleeping bags in doorways. The grocery carts carrying bags of possessions. The groups huddled together, trying to stay warm. 


Friday was really, really cold. When I was driving to pick my son up, I noticed a man sleeping on a bench. I looked twice because he wasn’t huddled up. He was sitting up, and his head was leaning on the back of the bench.


But it’s not at all unusual to see someone sleeping on that bench. And there were tons of people walking past. 


Still. I made a mental note to check on my way back to make sure he’d moved on.


It took half an hour to get back to that spot. He was still there. In the exact same position. Shit.


I parked in a wheelchair spot across the street from the bench and put my four-ways on. 


“What are you doing, Mama?” my son asked, alarmed.


“A man across the street needs help, love. I’m going to help him. Now, listen to me: You are going to stay in this car. Do you understand me? Do NOT get out of the car. You wait right here for me and I’ll be back as soon as I can. Got it?”


“Mama, will you lock the doors so no one can get in here?”


“Yes, I’ll lock the doors. Stay right here.”


I ran across the street and tried to wake him. I called 911 and stopped some other people. We could see him breathing sometimes, but then he would stop. 


Just as the ambulance turned onto the street, the man suddenly gasped and sat up. He must have been shocked to see so many people around, but he was polite and kind. 


“I’m okay, I’m okay!” he reassured us. The 911 operator asked to speak to him. “I just did a little fentanyl, Ma’am, and I must have passed out. But I’m okay now. … No, I don’t need an ambulance. I’ll just move along.” 


He returned my phone and I hung up.


“You’ve been out for a long time,” I told him. “I passed you 30 minutes ago and you were out then. Please take care of yourself. You must be so cold.”


His eyes widened. “Half an hour?” he asked. Then he stood up and left.


The whole thing probably took less than five minutes. It felt like hours. I was so scared. 


I walked back to the car, and opened the back door. 


“Is that man okay, Mama?” he asked. “I saw him sit up. I guess he was just sleeping.”


My little boy had unbuckled his seat belt, and climbed into the back window so he could watch me. He stayed exactly where he was supposed to, figured out how to keep eyes on me and feel safe.


“I’m so proud of you,” I told him. “You listened so well and did everything right. And I think that man is going to be okay. But it was really good that we stopped to help.”


On the drive home, we had our first serious conversation about drugs, and what they do in our bodies, and why some people use them. We talked about lives being so hard that you need to do something to forget.


And we talked about helping. We always stop and help when we can.


That’s one of my values. One that I hope I pass on to my son.


It’s why we hold the door open for others. Or pick up toys that babies drop. Or give to food drives. Because this is one of our values.


Values aren’t revolutionary. I know you have them. But I want you to consider how they affect your leadership.


One of the ways you build a safe, healthy, work culture is by defining team values. Values set relational norms, the ways we will interact with one another. They create trust and safety, which make space for innovation and risk-taking.


I always have a team value that we will think the best of each other. That’s a hard one, because we are so quick to be suspicious. But, as we get better at it, people relax. There is less defensiveness, fewer accusations. People stop trying to prove themselves, because they know their



team is on their side. It’s a calmer and more focused environment, and one where we can create and grow together.


When your values are clear, your team will be able to respond quickly and confidently, even in crisis situations. Because they will know they can trust each other. And they’ll know exactly what to do. 


Just like on Friday, when we didn’t have to think. We always stop and help when we can. So we did.


You can build that in your family. And in your team.


What values are you modelling for your family? For your team?

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2 Comments


Guest
Jan 14

You are a great mom

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Guest
Jan 14

Wow! How often do people actually think about their values, verbalize them and pass them on verbally and actively to their kids and those they interact with daily. Time to start those reflections and be proactive. Thanks Dana

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