“If I say yes to this, what will I need to say no to?”
This is one of my all-time favourite questions for keeping my life on track.
Because I have a limited capacity. We all do. And we don’t need to be ashamed of that. We might have an extremely high capacity…but it’s not infinite. We have limits. I have limits.
So, when I’m considering adding something new into my life, I ask myself this question:
“If I say yes to this, what will I need to say no to?”
It works on so many levels.
When we added skating to the weekly schedule, we decided to take out Tai Kwon Do. Maybe not forever, but for now. Because I still want peaceful, free evenings with my boy.
A slightly more painful example is my house. It is 900 square feet. Which is TINY. And, while I aspire to minimalism, I have accumulated a lot of beautiful things over the years. Things that I love. Things that I don’t have room for.
Things like my tall, brown, mid-century modern hutch. Slim, and sleek. Fantastic detail on the drawers. It’s been the focal point of my dining room.
Until my best friend called one day to ask if I wanted the long, teak sideboard from my grandparents that I’d given her years ago (before I fully appreciated what a teak sideboard can be). I have longed to have that piece back!
I literally have zero empty walls.
“If I say yes to this, what will I need to say no to?”
It’s the hutch. I know it is. I’ve known for months. But, as you can see in the picture, I’ve been resisting this ‘no’ pretty hard.
Now, I can have compassion for myself. It's a piece I love and I want to keep it! But I also can’t really use my dining room like this.
It needs to go.
My son is having his own version of this right now, as he tries to choose a few toys to give away so he has space for Christmas presents. Toys he’s finished with, of course. Toys he would roll his eyes at and call “Baby Toys” if I pulled them off the shelf.
You would think I suggested we cut off his arm. He is weeping over foam bathtub letters that he hasn’t touched in two years.
But he desperately wants a pogo stick and a Hot Wheels track (and a trumpet, but Santa is definitely not bringing that!), so he’s doing it. And I’m so proud of him.
Now, I know those examples are funny. But it’s important that we let things go when we take on new things. Otherwise, we end up with a hutch in the middle of the dining room.
Maybe it’s a board you’ve been asked to join. A new project at work. A class. A service opportunity.
Great things! Things that align with your values, move you closer to your goals, things that you want to say yes to. But, if you don’t let something go to make some space, you risk ending up so busy, stretched so thin, that you can’t do anything well.
We hear about burn out all the time. And I get it; the pressure is unreal, both at work and at home. But don't sit back and watch this happen to you. Learn how to choose. How to say yes AND no. Be responsible for how much you allow in your life.
“If I say yes to this, what will I need to say no to?”
This is a perfect time of year, as 2024 draws to a close, to consider what you want to add to your life. Or what you need to add to move toward your goals. But don’t just add. It doesn’t work.
Decide what to add. And then decide what to release.
There is power in both.
If you’re a leader, one thing I think you should add in January is The Leaders’ Circle.
I designed The Leaders Circle to lay a foundation of leadership in your life. You’ll join a community of peers, develop critical skills, and use coaching to maximize your learning. You’ll leave confident, and focused. You’re going to love leading!
You can learn more HERE. See if it's right for you. And, if you're struggling with what you'd need to release, let's talk. Because this is worth making space for.
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