I’ve always hated mornings. I just want to stay asleep, okay? Is that really too much to ask?
Well, it depends. Are you a parent? Because, once you’re a parent, then yes, yes it is.
It’s actually one of the things I LOVED about fostering teenagers…I was always up before them.
Toddlers are a different story. And that’s okay. I long ago accepted that I’m going to be a (reluctant) morning person for a few years while my son is young. It won’t last forever.
But over the last year, he’s become independent enough that he can watch cartoons by himself…while I soak up an extra 30 minutes of sleep. It’s one of my favourite new routines! And it works great.
Except that our mornings have been ROUGH.
Which is strange because I’m getting more sleep. And he’s getting more independence. But he seems to have a really short fuse. He’s whining about everything. He’s pestering me to watch this, get that, come here, do that. Which I don’t have time for in the mornings when I’m getting ready and making everyone breakfast. Ugh.
So, last week, I was reflecting on how pleasant our Saturday was and I realized something: On Saturdays, I don’t get ready and make breakfast. On Saturdays, I make coffee, and go downstairs in my jammies and we play lego and swing and he does puppet shows for me. And eventually we get hungry and go up and start our day. And usually Saturdays go really well.
It turns out, I had drifted from my priorities.
I talked about strategic priorities last week and how they give shape to everything we do, helping us decide what to say yes and no to.
I have strategic priorities in my business, but I also have them as a parent because it is SO EASY to get caught up in daily life and forget what’s actually important.
One of my strategic priorities is attachment with my son. I prioritize attachment over almost anything else - over being right, over being on time, over him “learning a lesson.” When there’s a choice to make and one option strengthens attachment, I choose that.
But we can drift from our priorities.
Because things come up. An emergency. New opportunities. Or we just get tired…and we wanna sleep in while our kid watches cartoons.
So, this week, when I realized how much better Saturdays were, I thought, “What if I play with him before I start getting ready?”
Guess what?
It worked. The difference is crazy.
I get up, make coffee, and go downstairs in my jammies. We set a timer for 15 minutes - because we still have to make it to school on time - and we play. And, when we go upstairs, my child has somehow transformed into a polite, funny, kind, thoughtful little human.
There are two points I want to make:
First, everyone needs strategic priorities! They help you say yes and no to the right things, and they ultimately help you reach your goals.
(We spend a lot of time on Strategic Priorities in The Leaders Circle. Registration for the January cohort is open now.)
Second, you have to take time to debrief. Take a minute and ask yourself how the fall has gone. What’s working? What’s not working? What would you do differently?
Just that little bit of reflection can help you realize where you’ve drifted and help you get back on track. And this season is the perfect time to do that, so you can adjust in time for the new year.
(The Leaders Circle has a session on Debrief too. But I wanted to offer it sooner, since it’s such a great time! I’m hosting guided debrief sessions over the coming weeks. Follow me on LinkedIn and FB so you don’t miss out!)
Now, I’m not saying that playing with your kids in the morning will solve all your problems. But take the time to debrief and see what you discover.
What changes will you make?
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