I remember the day I became a leader. Well, the night, actually.

I was 22 years old and serving on the board of directors for a non-profit that did leadership development with University students. Well, I was a student rep. I wasn’t really old enough to be on the board.
One of the University chapters had planned a conference and students were attending from all across the country. I was there as a delegate, and a board representative, but I wasn’t involved in the planning at all.
Late one night, I was heading back to my hotel room, when an angry, middle-aged man burst out into the hall and started screaming at a group of students. The gist of his complaint was that his family couldn’t sleep because people kept going in and out of their rooms and the heavy fire doors were making a lot of noise when they slammed shut.
He ended his tirade by looking up and down the hall, loudly demanding, “Who is in charge here? WHO is responsible for all of this?”
A few things flashed through my mind at that moment:
“What is wrong with this guy? Good grief!”
“I’m glad I’m not in charge.”
“Why isn’t anyone stepping up? There are two organizers right there. Why aren’t they talking to him?”
“They’re not going to, are they? Well, I get that. It is scary.”
“Someone has to talk to him though. It looks terrible if there’s no one in charge!”
“Oh. It’s me. I’m gonna have to do it.”
“I can’t believe I’m doing this! I’m not even in charge of this!”
“Here I go…”
I stepped away from my door, took a deep breath, and walked toward the man with my hand extended.
“It’s me, sir, I’m in charge. My name is Dana. Now, help me understand what the problem is?”
We talked for a while. He blew off some steam. I apologized, and explained we couldn’t make the doors any quieter. He threatened to complain to management. I encouraged him to do that, and promised to let people know to be careful. Maybe he calmed down a little bit; I can’t really remember.
What I do remember is the feeling I had when I got back to my room, and the next morning when the hotel manager called me in to apologize for the man’s behaviour. You know what I felt?
Proud.
Proud of the organization I was serving. Proud of the students who had done such a great job. And, proud of myself for taking responsibility, when I didn’t have to. I felt proud and protective.
I felt like a leader.
Leadership isn’t about position or title or how many people report to you. It’s about who you are when it really matters. It’s about whether you go to bat for your people.
It’s about whether you are willing to do the hard stuff. Hear criticism. Take responsibility. Make amends. Make changes.
It’s about whether you show up first and foremost to serve.
It’s actually not that easy to do. There have been a lot of times over the years when I’ve been faced with a situation I did not want to deal with. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve come back to that night in the hallway of the hotel, and the moment I decided who I was going to be.
I will stand up.
I will take responsibility.
I will help make things right.
I will be a leader.
If you, or someone you know, is becoming a leader, I want to invite you to join The Leaders Circle. It’s a community where leaders can access the learning, support, and coaching they need to thrive.
Registration for the first cohort opens on October 30th.
Get more information here: www.burningpoint.ca.
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