There were no red roses on my table this year. No romantic candle-lit dinners. A few lovely people asked me how I was doing - concerned, I suppose, that I would be feeling lonely. I have, other years. And if that was you this year, believe me, I understand. But I don’t feel that way very often anymore.
When I look at my life, there is a lot to love. A little boy with a cheeky grin reaching for my hand. A dear friend to have lunch with. Hobbies I’m eager to get back to. A hand-made gift from my mother. A small, Spiderman Valentine, leaning against my door, from the 10 year old neighbour down the street.
Little things, but they mean a lot to me. Each one highlights ways I’ve been intentionally bringing my life in line with my values. I have always wanted to be a foster parent, and now I am. I value friendships with people who challenge me, and I have those. I want play in my life, so I have (admittedly dorky) hobbies that I love. I’m building stronger bonds with my family. I’m making connections in my neighborhood.
Sometimes when we’re frustrated with life, it’s not just about our job or our partner or our diet. Sometimes it’s that our life has drifted out of alignment with our values.
We wanted to be generous but we find ourselves grasping for more money. We wanted to travel and instead we’re stuck at home (okay, that one might be Covid). We wanted to be creative, but we’re doing a repetitive, boring job.
When your life is out of alignment with your values, it can feel like nothing is working, nothing fits. Sometimes it’s been that way for so long, we’re almost used to the feeling…almost can’t remember what our values are.
Helping to identify, clarify, or even resurrect, your values is just one of things you can do with a Coach. And once you start using your values to chart the course for your life, you will find your inner self much more stable, energized, and peaceful…even if you didn’t get chocolates for Valentine’s Day.
I’d love to hear from you in the comments: What is a value that you wish was more prominent in your life?
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