I thought achieving goals would feel better.
Last year at this time, I was in a tough spot. I felt stuck, with lots of things outside of my control. I needed some clarity and I set some very specific and BIG goals for myself:
Finalize my son’s adoption.
Establish my coaching business.
Move back to Ontario.
And I did all of those things. It took a lot of work and energy. It was very hard. I had to ride waves of emotion, make hard decisions, keep moving forward. But I did it.
And now I’m here in my new home in Ontario, with my son who finally shares my last name, working full time in my own business. It’s everything I spent last year working towards.
I thought I would feel euphoric, proud, satisfied. Instead, I’m anxious, frustrated, and tired.
Does this happen to other people or is it just me? I hate it because it makes me wonder, “What if I never feel at peace? What if nothing is ever enough?” And,
as a life coach, it makes me feel a bit like a fraud.
But here’s the thing: I want to be on my own side. I want to be supportive and kind to myself. So, I’m trying to hold my experience gently, to learn from it, and not be consumed. Nothing lasts forever.
Here are some of the thoughts that have been helpful for me:
First, I recognize that those goals gave me a lot of momentum and energy, because they were life-changing, and had a lot of moving pieces to manage. But, in the grand scheme of things, they were actually very short-term. So, now that they’re checked off, I’m at a bit of a loss. What’s next? I need to reconnect to my center, to a deeper purpose for my life, so I can see them in the context of a whole.
Second, all those life changes came with a ton of details to work out. And I hate details! I knew this, in theory, but I forgot how exhausting it is. Buying a new house; organizing our space; learning my way around a new city; finding doctors, dentists, chiropractors; getting drivers’ licenses, health cards, insurance; new schools, grocery stores, neighbours; even just changing my address on a million things. Everything that was easy now takes a ton of mental energy. I need to remember that, just because it’s harder than I anticipated, doesn’t mean it’s wrong.
Finally, I am not alone. As I open up and talk about this, I find that a lot of people can relate. They’ve experienced some success, have some of the things they wanted. And it’s complicated. It doesn’t quite feel the way they thought it would. Some things are really hard. We all have these seasons, I think.
I don’t know how you handle tough seasons, but me? I’m designing a course. I’ll give more details soon, but it will be about taking time to listen deeply to ourselves. We’ll look back at our lives, to learn about who we are; we’ll look forward, to learn about who we are becoming; and then we’ll look at our lives right now and decide how we want to live well in this season.
It might sound funny to run a course when you’re kind of struggling, but it is exactly something I would do. I want to dig in and make sense of this, and I want to do that with other people, and I want to be in charge of it. LOL
If this resonates with you, shoot me a message and I’ll make sure you get the details. Or just keep watching here. I need to do this. I hope you’ll join me.